You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
