I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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