You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
