ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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