It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
