The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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