a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
