i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
