I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
