Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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