Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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