Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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