i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize