jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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