wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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