areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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