In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
