Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
