Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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