Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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