just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I checked into jail on foursquare
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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