like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
