Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
