i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize