Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
