you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
