well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want to make out with him forever
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
