So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I need moral support for this bender
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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