i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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