I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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