ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i came on her dog
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
