If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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