So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
