Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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