It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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