How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
