Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
