idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
