Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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