Whoa Z and x make the same sound
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
