i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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