maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
