You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
