holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize