You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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