i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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