Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We have so much sex to catch up on
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My bed smells like the plague
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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