dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
