I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are we still banned from the library?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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