i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
3 2 1 whiskey
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
