do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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