dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
