just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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