i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
