that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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