Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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