I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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