I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
